saturday, june 8, 2013.

Concerned friends and family say hard words to say that are also hard to hear. They do not know what we know: I am healed... or at least, few believe. It's hard for me to believe too sometimes. They only know my levels are up (now hCG 5578) and I haven't started chemo. Most are loving and kind and risk their own comfort to share their hearts for us and with us, but some are careless and cruel. They speak of my death and my motherless son. They mock our faith and question our character. They forget that we have feelings.

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friday, may 24, 2013.

Love notes pour in. We struggle with balancing our desire to respond to each and every person who reaches out to us with managing our practical responsibilities and our deep need to be as present as possible with each other, with Little Buddy, and with God.

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friday, may 17, 2013.

What a wild ride. A week ago, we sit waiting for the doctor in an examination room at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA) and I think to myself, "I am so fortunate to be one of what is probably only very few patients in this place who doesn't actually have cancer." Minutes later, the doctor, an oncologist and the leading expert in the Northwest on GTD says it: cancer.

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saturday, may 11, 2013.

While we can say with certainty that God is healing our hearts, we soon discover my body is moving in a different direction. I am diagnosed with a rare, but highly curable (if treated in time) form of cancer called Gestational Trophablastic Disease (GTD). My girlie doctor says it's not quite cancer, but on Thursday afternoon the experts at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance tells us differently.

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saturday, april 13, 2013.

We lost our little unborn baby yesterday. We both feel it was going to be a girl: Maybelline... our little Maybe. After 12 weeks of pregnancy, 10 pounds of lost weight, five weeks of complications, and four weeks of bedrest, an ultrasound reveals there is no heartbeat. One minute the technician is saying, "let's check on your baby," and the next she is telling us, "you need to get rid of it." It? It is shocking, at best.

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